Love is popularly thought of mostly in terms of feelings. People love someone or something because of their strong feelings of attraction, need, or sense of attachment. However, it would be a mistake to understand love only or even primarily in terms of feelings.
There is love, and there is responsible love, and it is important to understand the distinction.
When we talk about responsible love, we are referring to something that is not simply rooted in feelings. but rather something that is essentially a choice, which involves discretionary judgment, commitment and obligation. Love based only on feelings should probably be better described as “really liking.”
Getting Personal
Have you ever really liked someone or something, but not really loved them? Who or what, and why were your strong feelings towards them not really the same thing as love?
“I might not be in love, but I’m in like. I’m in serious like.” (Nicola Yoon)
“Love is not an emotion, it’s a choice.” (Marie Hall, American author)
Comment: Unlike feelings and emotions, choices involve a more complicated order of concerns, that fall under the term responsibilities. They are judgments and willful acts of selection that create obligations and promises. They create commitments and accountabilities. When you simply like someone, your feelings are not strictly bound by responsibilities, and it is relatively easy when your feelings change to just walk away. When you love someone, however, it’s not that simple, and it involves working through a host of challenges created by responsibilities.
“With every great relationship comes a great burden and the strength to carry it.” (Unknown)
